Living a spiritual life or dying drunk is not always an easy alternative for an alcoholic. I had to put my dog down. Chalupa was rescued from certain death from the animal shelter. She was a mean little Chiwawa, German Shepard mix. She used to bite me when my wife first brought her home. Everytime I tried to pet her she would snarl and nip my hand. That lasted a long time. My wife was diagnosed with brain cancer and died four months later. During my wifes' last days they brought a hospital bed into the house and Patti laid down on that bed never to rise again. When Patti laid down Chalupa also laid at Patti's feet on that bed. Patti took her last breath as her family recited the serenity prayer all around her. Then Chalupa got up from Patti's feet walk up to her cheek and licked Patti's face. Then Chalupa jumped down from the bed and became my dog, for awhile that is. My roommate Ann moved in with me and Chalupa became her dog instantly. Fickel little dog she was. But Ann fed her every day and slept with Chalupa every night. They loved each other and when Ann worked
Chalupa belonged to me. We went to thousands of AA meetings together. Chalupa made many alcoholics smile and laugh. Then she got old and I had to put her down. It was hard. I had her cremated so her ashes could be scattered in the ocean with Patti's. This morning Ann and I took the ashes to Sunset Cliffs. The sun was not yet up. I had dozens of roses and flowers cut from my garden and we placed the petals under her ashes as we said the serenity prayer overlooking the sea. The sky wept, just a misty light rain that is so unusual for this hot time of the year in San Diego. We tossed her ashes toward the sea but many of them refused to depart, instead falling at our feet and all around the cliffs. We cried. Chalupa was a force in my life, she told me where to go and when to go there. Now she was gone like her rescuer. We left the cliffs tears in our eyes knowing she had gone on to a much better place. Then I noticed a rainbow. Now just a rainbow but a double rainbow seemingly coming from where the ashes were placed with so much love. I know they are both up there celebrating the new life. I can chose to live my life in the raindrops or I can choose to live in the double rainbow knowing that there is something else after this life on earth. I choose rainbows, I choose love, I choose sobriety.
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